Aging with a Plan: How to Navigate the Journey Ahead

You’re listening to Boomers Today with your host Frank Sampson. Well, welcome to Boomers Today. I’m your host, Frank Sampson. Of course, each week we bring you important and very useful information on issues facing baby boomers, their parents and other loved ones.

And as I do on every one of our shows, I thank all of you, and I thank all of you because our listeners are growing every single day because of you. You’re sharing our podcast, individual shows, episodes with friends and family. Many of you are listening on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Audible, or you go to Alex and Siri and have them take you. Have Alexa Siri take you to Boomers Today.

So thank you all very very much for that. Some of you go right to our website at Boomers Today Radio, and I know why you do. It’s real clear to us why you’re sharing. And our listeners are growing every day because we have the best guests and very knowledgeable.

Certainly not going to disappoint you today. Actually I’m pretty excited about today’s interview. An old friend of mine that work together in the senior care industry for years, have tremendous respect for him, and actually, when I first started out doing a radio show, he was doing it with me, so we have with us Bob Nations. Bob has been a Senior Helpers owner for over sixteen years.

He currently serves as board president for two nonprofits, Share the Care and Napa Valley Support Services. He is a member of the board of stewards at Crosswalk Community Church. He has previously served on the NAPA Commission on Aging, Dementia, Capable Napa Valley, and the Solano Section on Aging and most recently Exciting News. He is the author of Navigating the Art of Aging.

So, Bob, this is great having you. Thanks for joining us on Boomers today. Well, yeah, I’ve been since you contacted me. I’ve been so looking forward to this number one.

Seeing you, but just having some old you know, brings back the time when you and I first started our senior businesses. We used to spend a lot of time together, so I’m sure. We sure that this is very exciting and congratulations on your book. Well, thank you.

I appreciate that it’s a It was a labor of love, it really was. I had no aspirations to do a book, but you know, as I started thinking about it after all these years, of helping people. I thought, well, this is a great way for me to extend that help by putting in in a book form, so more and more people can read it and hopefully help other people in their journey. Yeah, that’s great.

So so tell me who’s the book target? Who you hope at targets? Let’s put it well, you’re your you’re well, I guess the adult children, you know, because the whole prompt premise is it’s my story of helping other people, and you know, being at the time in my fifties, it was like helping my mom or my dad, or even my grandparents through the through the process of aging. Because a lot of a lot of the clients that I’ve had have you know, been been someone who was as old as my mom or as old as my grand grandpa parents. So it’s I’m hoping that those people could read the book and say, oh, that’s how I can help my mom, or that’s that that applies to how we’re dealing with my dad’s situation. So that that was my intention.

Yeah. So you know, it’s interesting because uh, I’m going to ask you what inspired you. I’m going to give you a second to think about it. But as you know, I wrote a book also, and kind of what inspired me is us doing that radio show together and then me starting to do podcasts and people would say to me, God, I’d really like I love listening, but I like to read some of your stories.

Would be great to read it. And that’s what kind of inspired me to kind of write my book. What inspired you, Well. It’s very similar, Frank.

You know I have all my stories. You know, I’ve really my companies helped thousands of people in the decade and a half. But the truth of the matter is I’ve helped people individually myself, based on care management and getting to know people and becoming quote a surrogate son to a lot of people, and so I have those stories. So when someone had asked me a question to demonstrate what I was going to say is I’d usually tell a story about how I helped this one individual.

And those stories just kept resonating in my mind, and one day somebody said, well, you should put those stories in a book, and so I thought they were crazy at first, and then I got to thinking about it. We know, they are stories that I went through the journey with these individuals, and why shouldn’t I put them downe on paper and see if they can’t help other people. That’s great, that’s great. So you must have thought it through.

Maybe it took a while, or maybe you just one day you thought about the title, you know, the art art of Aging. So what do you mean by that compared to just getting older? Well, in the titles navigating the art of aging or navigating the art of age. Yeah, the whole you know, the whole concept. It’s a navigation, right, because it’s I don’t know who coined the phrase the golden years, but they really aren’t true, right, It is not.

It is not an easy thing. It’s like any chapter in your life as you as you go through life. There was no there was no textbook that taught you how to raise kids, right, you and I both raised successful kids, but there was no there was no instruction manual. There’s really not an instruction manual.

Although you and I’ve been working for years to try to help people, there has never been a real instruction manual about how to grow old and how to do it successfully and so so it was just it was about it was about telling those stories and trying to take those stories and help other people. Yeah, so you know, both of us have been in the business similar amount of time. We met when we were both kind of starting out. I think you might have been in a little longer than me.

But so what have you learned? You know, what are some maybe some of the misconceptions that people have about aging that maybe could have been different back fifteen twenty years ago versus today. Well, I mean it really why I generally, you know, because I was in the toy industry before this, right, so right, and getting into this business, there was a there was a lot to learn about the process and you know, your preconceived ideas of what it’s going to be like when you retire and what life is going to be like, and and so through this journey, I learned a lot of different things. And it’s not it’s not as challenging, but it is challenging to go through this process. I mean, you got medicare you gotta deal with You got to am I going to stay in my home? And and who’s going to support me as I grow older when I need help? And how am I going to pay for that? And all those aspects all have to come together and I have to learn them.

And the problem. The problem is is you and I both know that as we get older, our brains aren’t firing at the same level, right, and they’re not firing as quickly. Oh mine, mine, mine’s firing question. Of course, I’m just kidding, but you know, it’s it’s one of those things that, yes, I’m facing new challenges, but my thinking may not be as clear as it used to be, or it may not be as as fast on the move.

And then and then then, you know, some acute thing happens to me and my body hurts, or you know, I’ve got these medical issues that I’ve got to deal with. It’s it’s very stressful time and for you know, to have people come in and add some assistance, and then and the whole concept. There’s so many options today, right, so you know, we’ve got the option of staying home, but we got the option also moving into an assisted living where part of the reason I started the business was because my grandmother had Parkinson’s way back when and her only destination after getting Parkinson’s and breaking her hip was to go to the nursing home. Well, that that’s not the option anymore.

There are so many new options that that I’ve learned about in these years that that that that Frank, you and I both visited some assistant livings that are wow, and of course we use it. It some that that you know that we wouldn’t want our parents to be in, but there are some that are pretty spectacular. And and and I find I found out early on in my career because I met this man that lived out on Severada Trail that he was adamant he was going to stay home till the day he died. But the truth of the matter is, in the end we ended up moving into an assisted living and he got better because he flourished because he’d been so isolated all those years right of being without his wife and all he had was his animals around.

But when he moved into assistant living, when I’d go visit him, he’d had friends. He looked happy, he looked healthier, And it was all based on the socialization aspect, and that that there’s a lot of value in that. In fact, sometimes I think socialization is more important than eating right, in getting exercise, because I believe. That I believe that, yeah, yeah.

Socializations are really really important. And the problem is, you know, the older we get, the less we socialize, we become more isolated in how we live our lives. And that’s that’s are you telling me you don’t socialize as much? You and I know better than that. It’s not you and I.

So let’s let’s let’s talk about you and I a little bit as it compares to the rest of the aging population. I mean, you and I have kind of surpassed the traditional retirement age, right, and uh, we’re both still both still working, we both still love what we do. Why do you think some people ball thrive as they age and and some people struggle? Why do you think that is? Well, it goes back. Can you remember my whole four pillars.

Of course, of car you drummed it into my head. Yeah, it was about eating right. It was about eating right, It was about uh, stimulating your brain, getting get your thinking going and challenging yourself. It was about socialization, it was about moving your body, all of those aspects.

And now you add the element that I’ve really found over the last few years though, with spirituality is really a key point is having hope, right, having hope with the future holds. But all five of those things now I think play a key role. And if you can embrace those on some level is thriving as you get older. I mean, what what’s your thoughts on it? Well, I, you know, I I do believe that keeping the brain sharp is real important.

A lot of people say to me, why, you know, why are you still you know, working, You don’t have to you know, work, And I say, you know, I I want to keep my brain sharp and I enjoyed. So I mean that’s part of the pillars, of course, a lot of the things you need to do. But uh, and I you know, I just know too many people who have retired in a traditional way and they’re just not as sharp, not near as sharp as they used to be, and and they do struggles. So I think, you know, you know, as far as as long as you could remain healthy, of course, but uh, coming up with a plan.

You have to have a plan. Yeah, you have a you have to have a business plan for business, and you have to have a plan for if you’re going to if you are going to retire or settle down. You got to have a plan. You just can’t be hey, I’m going to play a little more golf, you know.

Absolutely well, and you’ve got to do those things right. I mean, how many times have we heard somebody say, oh, I’m going to retire and I’m going to travel the world. And what do they do? They stay home most of the time, right, they don’t get out and they don’t it’s staying involved. And you know, you and I’ve reached a point in time in our careers where I think getting involved in our community.

I mean, as you said in my intro, I’m president of the board for two nonprofits and i’m you know, on the board at the church. I mean, those are engaging things that I do on a regular basis. It keeps me active. Plus I still own my business, I still interact with my employees.

All of those things help keep my mind sharp to your point, but also keep me active. Yeah. Yeah, So how would you define successful agent. That’s a good question, successful age.

I’m here to ask the good question. Spot Yeah, I know, that’s good question. Well, I think successful aging is is living life to the fullest. Right.

I think it’s it’s really living life. Is not giving up. It’s it’s about it’s about you know, taking it’s like I don’t know, it’s it’s like I’ve always I guess it’s hard for me to answer because this is the way I am. I mean it’s about, you know, taking the moment and living in the moment and and making those moments spectacular, right, I mean, just because I’m sixty six years old, and you know, I don’t get up and do as much as get up and exercise to the stint.

You know, back when you and I spent time together, I used to get at what four thirty in the morning to go exercise. Yeah, right, yeah, I don’t. I don’t. I don’t, I don’t.

I don’t get up at four thirty in the morning anymore, although I still get up pretty early, but it’s still about getting up and moving and staying engaged and just taking taking advantage of the moment. I think, you know, I think you have a bunch of grandkids and enjoying them and and just I don’t know, just enjoying life and embracing it each day. Yeah. Absolutely, absolutely, So we’re going to take a quick break.

I promise. Just recognize our sponsor, and when we come back, we’ll not only continue our discussion, but want to learn a little bit more about the book you wrote, and it’ll be your time to tell our listeners about that. Okay, So I just want to ask all of you. Do you know anyone who may be concerned about an older driver well Senior Care Authorities.

Beyond Driving with Dignity program is a facilitated self assessment program for older drivers. This program has been designed to serve as a vital tool to facilitate older drivers and their families as they make the appropriate decisions regarding the future of one safe driving career. If the individual is a safe driver, an advisor will provide him or her with strategies and how to remain a safe driver as they progress through the aging process. If driving retirement is the appropriate decision, then the individual and their family are offered possible alternatives, resources and a specific plan to ensure a smooth and successful transition from the driver’s seat to the passenger seat.

So to learn more, go to www. Dot Beyond Driving with Dignity dot com. That’s Www. Beyond Driving with Dignity dot com to connect with a Senior Care Authority advisor in your area.

So we are back with my good friend Bob Nation, who’s the owner of the Senior Helpers franchise and Wine Country here in Napa, California, serves on the board of many different organizations as the author of navigating the art of aging. So, Bob, so tell us, tell us more, a little bit more about the book, how people can can get your book, and any other anything else you’d like to share with our listeners, all the wonderful things you’re doing. Well, you know. The premise of the book is everything that I’ve learned in the last eighteen years of being in the senior business, right, and it really comes down to my personal stories and my interaction with people, and your commercial about driving, I mean, those were those were those are real issues that people are facing every day.

I mean, should Dad still be driving? And what do we do if Dad’s refusing to give up the keys? And then the book itself has a couple of stories about that, I mean, what did we do when we encountered someone who really isn’t safe to be on the road? And those are just stories about how we approached it and how we successfully convinced that. And one of the things that I learned in the business was sometimes it’s just a matter of how you put it in perspective for people. Right when you go into dad and say, hey, Dad, I’m taking away your keys. You’re going to save driver anymore? What do you think the first thing he’s going to do.

Wait a minute, you’re not taking my keys. He’s going to take a swing at you. Yeah, exactly. I believe my independence.

But when you go to him and say, Dad, how much you always dreamed about having someone show for you around town and show for you, I mean, you can live like a rich man, right, even send in the back seat and let let somebody do the driving for you and take the pressure off. And don’t make it about losing independence, making about really expanding your independence by having someone drive you around. And of course at Senior Helpers, that’s exactly what we do. We promote.

We promote that we’re available for transportation to doctor’s office and shopping and and you know, years ago we took a man fishing on a regular basis just because it got him outside to get him to do things. So it’s just part of the part of the plan that we created Senior Helpers to help people thrive and live their full life by living at home. So the books, the books about stories. Basically it’s a bunch of stories of incidents.

Is where I are opportunities that I had and interacting with people in my personal interaction and helping them what I coined the phrase navigating the art of aging. That’s that’s great. And and where could is it on? Amazon? Amazon? Yeah? Yeah, it’s Amazon. You can You can also go to Barnes and Noble and get it, but I mainly tell everybody Amazon.

You know, Amazon’s so easy. It’s just a matter of looking it up. But you do have to type out the name navigating the Art of Aging and it’ll pop right up. And if you get it, make sure you do a review because I love going back and reading the reviews and feel like what people have said about the book, because it seems everybody who’s read it seems to have enjoyed it.

So that’s great. That’s great. Congratulations again on that. That’s great.

And I know that feeling after writing a book. It’s a good thing when you when you first held it. How’d you feel when you first got that copy? Well, I guess I was still a little shocked that I did it right. Yeah, that’s great.

I said it to my sister and she calls me. She goes, I cannot I believe my brother is an author. It’s really hard for me to believe it. It was hard.

It’s hard to grasp but something I never because I never considered myself a really stellar writer anyway. And so for me to say that I’m a publish Arthur is quite quite an achievement in my life for sure. That’s great. That’s great.

So let’s let’s go back and kind of continue our discussion from earlier. What do you what do you think could be some of the critical decisions people maybe don’t prepare for, not that you know, or or they should prepare and don’t as they age. What are some critical decisions? Well, I think I think you know, I think it comes down to people really should plan. I think you said it earlier.

People should really plan where they want to be and how they want And this whole, this whole idea of I want to stay in my house of the day I till the day I passed away. That that that’s that’s not a plan, right, that’s that’s a statement. But but there so. Much it’s a it’s a hope.

It’s a hope, right, And as I said, as I said before, that’s sometimes that’s not your best interest, right because being in your home by yourself and being isolated, it’s not necessarily the best thing for you. Uh So getting out if you’re going to stay in your home, getting out is important. But if you’re if you’re open to it and going and living in one of these assisted living buildings, which you and I both know are pretty fantastic. In some cases, is a great opportunity to make new friends, get involved in some hobby, exercise, class, whatever, and I find people flourished that way.

People tend tend to say I’m staying in my home and there’s no no real other option you consider until you have to, and that unfortunately becomes an emergency situation. You’ve ended up in the hospital and they say they’re going to send you home, or they say they’re going to send you to the skill care building, and you don’t have a plan for that. So the best thing, that best advice I can give to people is create a plan, not not say, oh, I’m going to stay in the home to the to the day on until the day I die. What how do you how do you get there? How do you plan for it? And is that in your best interest? And those are conversations that I have to have on a regular basis.

Yeah, I kind of laugh because it comes out every year, whether it’s ARP or another organization. They do. They spend a ton of money doing these studies, and they ask people where would they like to spend the rest of their life, and over of course comes out to over ninety percent of the people. So they want to be at home.

Why do they spend so much money on that study? Of course that’s the answer, all. Right, but that doesn’t answer it. That but that doesn’t mean that it’s going to be in the best interests of the person or the best interests of the family for them to be at home, right, just what you said. So, yeah, so let’s talk to you.

And I’ve had a lot of experience with this, you know, but what do you think are some of the biggest mistakes that people make when they’re you know, selecting some sort of a care solution where that care solution is what you do in home care, what we do and assists of living or some other care solution. What do you think some of the biggest mistakes people make when making those types of decisions. Well, I think the first one that comes up is the same thing my grandmother used to say when she was younger. Well, Bob, I’ve got to save my money so I can leave something to your mom and her sister, and I’m like, why, it’s your money.

Why aren’t you taking advantage of all that hard work you put into your life, the savings you put together, the investment you took together. Why aren’t you looking at how you can utilize that money for the better life for you. Yeah, it’s great if you have some money left over at the end, but the truth of the matter is, take advantage of the money that you have, whether it’s investment in a house or your investment in whatever, whatever your resources are, use those to create the best life for you and not worry about other people. It is what I advise.

And you know that comes down to paying for home care, that comes down to traveling, that comes down to moving into assistance, whatever those things are. That’s the best thing for you. Just just use the resources. You have to do it once you think that.

Also in addition to that is just don’t try to do this alone. Don’t try to make these major decisions alone. Oh absolutely, you know. I mean, you use the advice of people like yourself and people on your team or my team, but somebody just get advice of professionals that have been in it.

And I think that’s a bige as well. Absolutely. Well, it’s just like I’ve tried to say here today. I mean, you call me and I’m not there.

I don’t go to people’s homes and say, oh, let me, let me, let me sell you on home care. I go to them and find out exactly what they’re wanting to accomplish, what their what their goal in life is, and then try and give them a salution that helps them in the best possible light, whether or not to hire my company or not. It’s about me advising them on what’s the best thing for them and what I see to get to their goal. I mean, that’s part of the book.

It’s about stories about people reaching their goals and getting to the point where they get to where they want to be. So in writing the book, I know when I wrote my book, I learned a lot. Are you writing your book? How has it changed your view about your own agent? Well, it’s really funny that you say that, because there are a pair of There are times whereas I’m going through the process, I’ll stop and open up a chapter in my book and read it to remind myself of that experience, because I think, you know, sometimes we forget about, you know, about how to handle a certain situation. So I think it’s really key.

I mean, you know, one of the things, unfortunately that happens a lot is we grow older, depression sets in, right, it starts becoming we can’t do as much we used to do, and so therefore we come more. And I think it’s important that we get beyond that and realize that that there’s still there’s still a long life to live and live live good. If you’re if you’re if you’re working towards your plan, working toward a goal. It’s it’s always my whole career is all about working towards some goal.

And I think when we grow older, it’s still working toward a goal. Where do where do I want to be? What I want to do? Because it’s not about getting up and setting front of the TV every day. That’s not a goal. Yeah, So, uh, I’m gonna unfortunately, I mean I could talk to you all day about that.

I know this stuff, right, but uh, we’re you know, kind of getting into into the final couple of minutes here. So I’m going to ask the question that I asked many of the people that I interview on the show. Is there something that you wish I would have asked you that I haven’t asked you and go ahead and address it. You know, I want to make sure we you know, we don’t hang up and you know, yeah, Hey, Frank, how come you then ask me this so well? I think the key is that because a lot of people get fixated on the money part, and today, in today’s time, there are lots of options for paying for resources.

It’s one of the things that I’m so excited about twenty twenty six is because now I feel like I have enough options that I can meet just about anybody’s needs with resources about how to pay for things that I need as I grow older. I mean, the example would be, you know the VA if I was a veteran and there are lots of veteran benefits, and Frank, you and I both know that we’ve met veterans over the years, and says, oh, I’m going to leave that veterans money for somebody else to take it. I don’t need it. Well, the truth of the matagy you’re a veteran, you should take advantage of it.

But I think in twenty twenty six is the first time we’ve had an opportunity to have resources for just about everybody at every level to help them thrive and to get to their goal of growing older gracefully. Yeah, gotcha, Bob. Thank you so much for joining me on Boomers Today. Great to see you again and so thank you for joining us.

Thanks for having me rank check it out, navigating thereative Agent, going to Amazon and get it right now. So thank you, everybody. Please be safe to Boomers Today with Frank Sampson. To learn more about today’s show, visit Boomerstoday radio dot com and join us next time for another edition of Boomers Today.