Preventing Elder Abuse

Listen to my interview with Jane Eckels and learn how all of us can do our part to help prevent elder abuse. http://www.seniorcareauthority.com/radio-show/jane-eckels-sonoma-county-area/

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Information for the Aging Boomers

Click here for the most recent article and interview.

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Need to Exercise? Try “Wii-hab!”

As our parents or other loved ones age, we never like to see them sitting around all day watching television, but motivating them to do more exercise and mind stimulation could be a struggle at times. I spend quite a bit of time visiting residential care homes, assisted living and memory care communities. When I visit these locations, there is nothing better than to see a smile on an elderly resident’s face. It is also quite uplifting for me to see these residents as active as they are able to.

We were about to move a client into a community in the east bay, and while I was there I noticed quite a bit of activity around the big-screen TV in the lobby area. I asked someone what all the people were doing there. “Oh, they’re getting ready for their Wii bowling tournament against another assisted living community,” she said.
Well, you have to see it to believe it! There were residents in their wheelchairs, walkers and some even had on team bowling shirts they used to wear some years back in their bowling leagues. So, I went up to one of the residents and asked when the other team was showing up. “They don’t come here,” he said. “They are at their assisted living community and we are playing them live…I guess this works through the Internet somehow!” he added.

I have to say, this put chills down my arms to see the excitement in anticipation of the match. I had to watch a few frames, and if there were admission, I would’ve gladly paid it. The facial expressions, high-fives, arm movements and leg movements (for those who were able to) were amazing to see. I had to find out more information about this form of exercise for seniors.

Elizabeth Orsega-Smith, Ph.D., is an Associate Professor and Director of the Graduate Health Program in the Department of Behavioral Health and Nutrition at the University of Delaware. She has conducted research on the use of “exergames,” games that require physical exertion as an input to gain feedback from the system – with older adults. Orsega-Smith is finding that the right games used the right way can actually improve health and well-being. Her target population, however, is about 60 years older than the typical video game player. Here are some of her findings:

• In playing Wii tennis using serve, forehand or backhand motions, patients perform repetitive movements that may aid dexterity, strength, range of motion and balance, while participating in a challenging video game.

• Playing the Wii game system may test older adults’ cognitive abilities. Using the Wii game system requires the participant to see the video game event, process what he/she sees, and then react appropriately. This can stimulate the mind more than simply watching a television show.

• Beyond the physical activity values, the Wii system may offer psychosocial benefits. Older adults may benefit from social support, encouragement and camaraderie when playing exergames in a group setting. Just the occasional reinforcement such as “Great shot!” along with a laugh or two can improve an older adult’s psychological state. They may find feelings of accomplishment, with recognition that “even old people can play.”

Another positive social outcome is the potential for seniors to meet the younger generation on a more level playing field. “This shows older adults that they can learn new technology,” Orsega-Smith says, “and it may spur more interaction with their grandchildren. Wii playing,” concluded Orsega-Smith, “may be a vehicle for physical activity participation, especially for those older adults who do not have access to a fitness facility or who may have physical limitations to their mobility.”

That’s not all. There is now a Wii bowling league called the National Senior League located on the web at www.nslgames.com . The organization is located in Atlanta but is open to leagues that want to form at senior communities, including independent living communities, assisted living, nursing homes, adult day care centers and senior centers.

So, attempt “Wii-hab” and try and avoid “Rehab.”

Frank M. Samson is Founder of Senior Care Authority based in Sonoma and also hosts “The Aging Boomers” on KSVY 91.3 or can be listened to live at www.ksvy.com, every Monday at 2pm PT. The company provides free assistance to families in helping them find In-Home Care, Independent and Assisted Living for their loved ones. He can be reached at 707.939.8744 or
e-mailed at frank@seniorcareauthority.com. The company website is www.seniorcareauthority.com.

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F. Scott Fitzgerald’s 1922 short story, “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button,” is a story about man who starts aging backwards with bizarre consequences. The movie that came out in December 2008 was loosely based on Fitzgerald’s story. Many who saw the movie, including me, thought that aging backwards is probably the way it should really be.

Well, it’s not the case, and your children are no longer the only parenting role you have. It now includes the care and decision making for your own parents. Role reversal for aging parents is difficult on all concerned. If you need a dose of growing up, elder care will make it happen whether you’re ready or not!

This is the day you thought would never happen. Your roles in life are reversing. You are trying to make decisions for yourself and your Aging Parent. What will be best for them without altering your life too drastically? How do you keep up the pace and ultimately please everyone around you? You are not alone in life; you have a family, significant other, and a career to think about. You want to balance everything, to keep everyone happy and for life as normal as possible. Think again! Those once a week visits or daily phone calls may not be enough anymore. Your parent needs care, the real kind.

The care includes making sure they eat, that they take their meds, that their money isn’t being floundered away on TV shopping. You have siblings that think Assisted Living or Nursing Facilities are awful and they don’t want to put Mom or Dad in one even though they also don’t want to help out. How do you cope? How do you deal with this situation without alienating every member of your family?

Please understand, it’s not about you. What I mean by that statement is that it’s not about guilt and what some think is the “right thing to do.” It is not about hanging on to someone that they used to be. They are an elderly person in need of constant care and attention. If you need a dose of growing up, this situation will make it happen whether you’re ready or not!

Start with their doctor. Have an appointment to discuss the health of your beloved parent. Between the doctor and senior care advisors, you may be able to determine the types of help and living style your parents current status requires. Keep asking until you have the best situation for all concerned.

It may not be as simple as a caregiver visiting a few times a week to help with showering, dressing, meals and meds. Their health may need more than that and the visiting nurse or doctor’s office is the place to apply the concern. The best word to learn to help an elder parent is the same as if your infant child were being cared for and that is SAFETY. If safety is not at the level necessary, keep pushing until you get the help you need. Keep on insisting the area of SAFETY.

It may take you time to uncover everything available to your parent to help with this care process but trust me, it will be worth it in the many years elder care can stretch out to be. It is best to discuss with them all their health and medical, financial and personal situations before that day arrives.

When they are older the best thing you can give them is you. Spend quality time instead of stress time. Have them over for a day and dinner instead of needing to pawn them off on someone else. The resentment builds if you do this alone and there are many really good options out there to take that burden off your shoulders.

Safety and honesty is what makes those later years a good memory!

Frank M. Samson is Founder of Senior Care Authority based in Sonoma and also hosts “The Aging Boomers” on KSVY 91.3 or can be listened to live at www.ksvy.com, every Monday at 2pm PT. The company provides free assistance to families in helping them find In-Home Care, Independent and Assisted Living for their loved ones. He can be reached at 707.939.8744 or
e-mailed at frank@seniorcareauthority.com. The company website is www.seniorcareauthority.com.

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Don’t Let Guilt Get in the Way of Proper Care

I advise adult children each and everyday regarding the best living alternatives for their parents or other family members. Though many issues are discussed, first and foremost, safety is the number one priority which needs to be considered.

Many feel an enormous weight of guilt and sometimes even a sense of failure for the inability to care for aging parents. Guilt, helplessness, and the pain of realizing that you may not longer be suited, or able, to give your elderly parent what he or she needs is a huge burden for any child to feel (regardless of age), and it will take time and a lot of patience to be able to deal with such feelings about parents care.

Coming to a decision that your parent may need more specialized care and time than you are able to provide is not easy. When assessing the need for more specialized elderly care for your parent, you may need to take the following issues under consideration:

Is my parent able to stay safe in the current living environment?
Can I devote the time necessary to adequately care for my elderly parent’s needs?
Do I have it in me to handle my parent suffering from a cognitive disorder such as Alzheimer’s?
Am I able to help my aging parent with mobility issues?
However, any such decision often brings with it a heavy toll such as feeling like:

Should I be doing more? Better?
Am I doing things right?
Is my elderly parent too much of a burden for me?
I’m so tired!
I just want my ‘old’ life back!
I’m inadequate, ill equipped or emotionally weak!
When feeling guilty, adult children often tell parents what to do and they do this with the best of intentions. However, the number one fear of older adults is losing their independence and often, adult children trigger that fear when they tell their aging parents what to do. Aging parents then become less willing to share information about their health or struggle to continue to live independently. The result is typically some sort of accident or crisis, exactly the outcome the adult child was hoping to prevent. They give in to their kids’ demands and just try to get by. They may become unhappy, depressed and withdrawn.

A different approach is to share your concerns with your parents. Use “I” as much as possible since the word “you” tends to make others defensive and they stop listening. For example, instead of saying “you should move since you can’t be alone anymore,” you may want to say “it’s becoming very difficult on me and the rest of the family to travel so many hours to see you.” Ask your parents for their ideas on how to solve the problem. This step is a process and will not be solved with just one conversation.

Be willing to compromise. Is it more important that your parents make some changes or that nothing changes? Listening and respecting your parent’s opinions can also increase the chances they’ll be willing to make further changes in the future.

In William Bakkus book called “Telling Yourself the Truth, ” he brings up the following points to caregivers feeling guilty:

1. You did not cause this disease.

2. Your loved one would not have wanted you to stop living.

3. Being a caregiver was one of the most noble and wonderful things anyone can do for a loved one.

4. You did the best you could under the most extreme care giving circumstances.

It is important that you give yourself some time to adjust or to let all of those feelings out or to grieve, just know that the goal is to begin living again while keeping your loved one safe.

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Learn More About Memory Training

My interview with Harry Lorraine is a must listen. Harry is touted by Time Magazine as the “The Yoda of Memory Training.” He talks about untrained vs. trained memory, “senior moments,” help for those with forms of dementia and much more…a must listen! Click here.

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Be Careful What You Promise To Your Spouse, Partner or Parents

On January 1, 2011, baby boomers began turning 65-years-old. In fact, a baby boomer will turn 65 every eight seconds, and by 2030, there will be twice as many people over the age of 65 as there currently exist today.

As baby boomers begin to reach retirement age, more and more discussion is taking place about the aging process. One topic being discussed among families, aging in place, is the idea that it is normal for the majority of people to want to live at home as they age. The MetLife Report on Aging in Place 2.0, Rethinking Solutions to the Home Care Challenge” (September 2010) states “although a large majority of older Americans say they want to Age in Place, it is often more easily said than done. Today’s care infrastructure, technologies, existing housing, funding sources,
and the businesses and services available for Aging in Place are not being fully
realized in order to achieve the promise most hope for as America ages.”

Though staying at home is certainly the choice of the elderly, it may not be the safest or least costly choice. Below are a couple examples of comments I’ve heard from clients which are all too common:

“I promised my wife I would never put her in a convalescent home,” said a caring husband about his wife with Alzheimer’s who is also a fall and wander risk. NOTE: The home is not safe for someone in her condition. The husband is in poor health and all three children live out of state and have jobs and their own children to take of.

“I gave my word to my father that he would not go to a nursing home, and if needed, I would make sure he gets the proper care at his home. He has lived in this home for the last 50 years.” NOTE: Because of the father’s condition, he cannot be left alone, so in order to live at home, he needs 24-hour assistance, 7 days per week. Due to the significant cost for this, the father’s money will be depleted in less than one year.

There are two misconceptions that many have regarding long-term care:

1. “If I don’t stay home, I’ll need to go to a Nursing Home”
There was a time when nursing homes were the main type of facility for long-term care. Many of us remember going to visit loves ones at these locations with horrible smells and less than adequate care. Today, nursing homes are mainly set up for short-term stays after being hospitalized for recovery and strengthening. Those who need to be in nursing homes for long-term care are either on Medicaid (Medi-Cal in California) or need medical care (i.e. – IV’s, feeding tubes, wound care, coma care, quadriplegics). Most people still believe that if they are not taken care of at their own home, they will have to go to a Nursing or Convalescent Home. That is simply not true.

2. “Assisted Living is another name for a Nursing Home”
There are approximately 1,300 Nursing Homes and just under 8,000 Assisted Living locations in the State of California. Therefore, far more people who need assistance reside in assisted living versus skilled nursing. Assisted Living options range from small, family Residential Care Homes to larger, full-service communities with hundreds of residents. The smaller locations are similar to living in someone’s home with live-in caregivers who provide assistance. The larger locations (communities) are more like Senior Apartments with caregivers providing 24/7 assistance.

More and more seniors are becoming residents of small, large and specialized Assisted Living facilities including dementia care. Generally speaking, Assisted Living is for people that need help with the activities of daily living (ADL’s). ADL’s are considered the routine activities that people tend do everyday without needing assistance. There are six basic ADL’s, including eating, bathing, dressing, toileting, transferring (walking) and continence.

Be careful of the promises you make to loved ones regarding long-term care. You may be promising something that could be less safe at a far higher cost.

Frank M. Samson is Founder of Senior Care Authority based in Sonoma and also hosts “The Aging Boomers” on KSVY 91.3 or can be listened to live at www.ksvy.com, every Monday at 2pm PT. The company provides free assistance to families in helping them find the best Independent, Assisted Living and Residential Care Homes for their loved ones. He can be reached at 707.939.8744 or e-mailed at frank@seniorcareauthority.com. The company website is www.seniorcareauthority.com.

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Sex and the Holidays

The Aging Boomers
Katherine Forsythe, MSW is a counselor, coach and educator. I was able to interview her about many of the areas we face during the holidays. If you’re older, younger, single, married, have a partner or just want to learn while being entertained at the same time, you must listen to this!

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Alzheimer’s World in Sonoma California

Alzheimer’s World — Accepting Repetitive Behavior as the New Normal

By: Bob DeMarco

Seven long years. For seven long years I have been trying to come up with a good answer to a question I get asked almost every day — how can you stop a person that has Alzheimer’s disease from asking me the same question over and over? How can you stop a person suffering from Alzheimer’s disease from engaging in the same behaviors over and over?

Help me.  Not so long ago we enlisted the advice of a geriatric psychiatrist to help us come up with a solution to a problem — the Alzheimer’s patient was shaving four times a day.

The simple solution:
One way to reduce the behavior is to remove all shaving equipment from the home….no access to razors and shaving cream, no shaving. If the person truly has Alzheimer’s disease and is at least in the moderate stage, they may likely forget about the shaving and look to something else to fulfill whatever unmet need the shaving represented to the person.

I liked that solution. I liked it because it never dawned on me. I liked it because I learned an important lesson.
But what do you do when someone keeps asking you what day it is? Or, any other repetitive question? Ignore them? Might work.

Do as I did?

I put the newspaper in front of my mother, Dotty, every morning and ask her the day and date before she had a chance to ask me. Sometimes I have to coach her to the top of the newspaper to find the information. I usually do this more than once in day.

…continue reading from alzheimersreadingroom.com

Does your family need Home Care in Sonoma CA for a loved one suffering from Alzheimer’s Disease? For help, visit www.seniorcareauthority.com.

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Dementia Caregiving in Sonoma CA

Dementia Caregiving

When Nobody Appreciates You, What Can You Do?

By Paula Spencer, Caring.com senior editor

What’s worse –- the many challenging dimensions of dementia caregiving, like losing your privacy, worrying, assisting with daily living, filling the long hours, coping with new expenses, the anticipatory grief of watching someone you love change, and family-work stress (to name, oh, a few) –- or the thanklessness of it all?

Feeling taken for granted as a caregiver is incredibly common. Surveys indicate that more than half of all caregivers do. And yes, these understandable feelings are a stressor. What also adds stress: Feeling sheepish when you want to complain about this.

continue reading from caring.com

Are you providing Home Care for someone with Dementia? Please contact www.seniorcareauthority.com for help in the Sonoma area!

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